Being socially connected in your community
Social connection is vital for our well-being. It's not just about being around people; it's about feeling connected and valued. In Kirklees, we recognise that isolation and loneliness can affect anyone, regardless of age or background.
Understanding social connection
We all feel less socially connected sometimes.
People can feel less socially connected, isolated or even lonely at any age and at different points in their life. It's a very personal experience.
A lack of social connection is not the same as being alone - some people are very happy in solitude. Although being isolated can cause loneliness, it's possible to be surrounded by people and still feel a lack of social connection.
Causes of social disconnection
People may feel isolated or lonely due to various life changes or challenges, such as:
- Health issues limiting mobility and social interaction
- Feeling low, depressed, or anxious
- Moving to a new house or area
- Changing school, starting university, new job, or retiring
- Losing a loved one
- Relationship problems with friends, family, or through divorce
- Being a caregiver, making social activities hard
- Living alone
- Not having enough money to socialise
- Facing discrimination, exclusion, or bullying
- Language, cultural, or identity issues
Spotting the signs
It can be hard to tell if someone feels socially disconnected. Here are some signs to look out for:
- Acting differently or not feeling like themselves
- Low confidence, self-esteem, anxiety, or depression
- Avoiding social situations
- Saying they don't go out, see people, or join activities
- Wanting to keep talking
- Changes in eating and sleeping habits
- Changes in routine
- Spending a lot of time on phones or online
- Conflicts in relationships
- Saying things like "nothing happens around here," not knowing neighbours, or feeling people don't talk in their community.
Don't assume that because someone spends a lot of time alone that they are lonely.
Don't assume that someone who has a lot of social interaction is not lonely.
Support available
In Kirklees, we offer various services and initiatives to help people build and maintain social connections:
- Community Plus - One to one support to help people to connect to local activities and reduce loneliness.
- Social prescribing link workers - Request a referral to a social prescribing link worker via a local GP - they work alongside GP's and in the community to support people to enjoy activities of interest to them in their local community. There are Mental Health Social Prescribing Link workers in GP practices in Kirklees too.
- Kirklees Libraries - Offer a range of activities in your local community that support wellbeing and social connection.
- Kirklees Wellness Service - One to one support for over 18s to improve health and wellbeing.
- Age UK Calderdale and Kirklees
- NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression - Support for adults with stress, anxiety or depression including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
- Get help with loneliness - NHS - Things you can try yourself to help reduce feelings of loneliness.
- Mental health support - For urgent support or self help
- Working Together Better Partnership - Specific community activities that support mental health and wellbeing. Many of these services offer 'drop in' sessions where you can just go along and observe what happens, before actually 'signing up.'
Befriending services
Everyone experiences loneliness now and again but as times change and we get older, family and relatives move away, or we suffer the loss of a loved one; being home alone becomes difficult.
If you are feeling lonely or isolated, a befriending service can give you companionship and help you feel more connected and lead a more fulfilling life. You can request a befriender for yourself or ask someone to contact them on your behalf.
Age UK and their partner charity The Silver Line offer free telephone friendship services, so people can enjoy chatting with someone over the phone. Over 60s can be matched with a friendly volunteer.
Through befriending, lunch clubs, assisted shopping, activity and friendship sessions, outings, escorts to appointments and much more, MHA Communities help to tackle loneliness and isolation in people over 55 - helping them to lead fulfilled lives and remain as active members in their local communities.
You can request support from volunteers, either for themselves or someone they know (with that person's permission)
NHS CARE Volunteer Responders: I'd like support
Health and care teams can:
- refer people for Check In and Chat and Check In and Chat Plus friendly telephone calls.
- request pick up and deliver support with the delivery of medication and supplies.
- request community response support with essential shopping, lateral flow tests and prescription delivery.
The Royal Voluntary Service inspires and enables people to give the gift of voluntary service to meet the needs of the day. Through the power of volunteering, they provide one-to-one, group and online services that improve health and wellbeing, resilience, confidence and connections.
Re-engage provides vital, life-enhancing social connections for older people at a time in their life when their social circles are diminishing.
The Cuppa Club is a free monthly meet-up promoting friendship and community in Huddersfield. Refreshments and entertainment are free.
Other support
- Cost of living
- Support for parents Home start Kirklees - Home-Start Kirklees work alongside families to develop self-confidence and skills, to access peer support and expand social networks. Families can contact Home-Start directly but can also be referred by local professionals.
- Bereavement support
- Volunteering - Third Sector Leaders Kirklees
- Community wellbeing projects - Timestep Community Dance (TCD) - Tackling social isolation in the community through diverse activities.
- Find mental health support in Kirklees.
How to help someone to develop friendships and connection
The Opening Doors to Connection guide has been developed to support young adults and adults across Kirklees.
Asking direct questions may make some people uncomfortable. Loneliness still carries a stigma.
Some people feel embarrassed and are nervous about sharing how they feel.
Some people do not identify with the word 'lonely'. They may mention feeling left out of a group or people being unfriendly.
Marmalade Trust stress the following:
- feeling lonely is normal and should not be seen as wrong or shameful.
- avoid words like 'suffering' and use 'experiencing' instead.
- try not to imply that feeling lonely something that people have 'admit' to
- talk about building up connections rather than negative terms like 'tackling' or 'curing' loneliness.
- focus on the person's own strengths, talents and qualities
Marmalade Trust | Loneliness Charity | Based in Bristol, England
You can do this by:
- keeping things informal, starting with general 'chit chat' and starting with safe topics such as weather, food, pets, news etc.
- taking time and going at a person's own pace
- showing active listening (by giving feedback, summarising and clarifying).
- showing empathy and not judging them
- acknowledging how people feel without dismissing them
- reassuring people that feelings of loneliness are normal for most people at certain times in their life
- listening to understand rather than to respond
- sharing your own personal experiences or challenges - this can help people to connect
- creating safe spaces where people can freely express themselves without fear of being judged
- being culturally sensitive - be mindful of cultural norms, customs and communication styles
- use translation tools or find people who can help facilitate communication where there are language barriers.
Ideas for introductory questions include:
- what do/ would you like to do with your time?
- how do you feel about the way you spend your time?
- do you feel like you are meeting enough people?
- how would you describe your network of friends and family?
- which friends or family members could you turn to for support if you needed it?
- would you like more opportunities to meet local people? Where and how would you like to meet people?
- do you know your neighbours? Do you find people say hello and chat to each other?
- what's the local transport like? Is it easy to get around? Where are the best places to go shopping locally?
Engagement with local young people suggests asking question like:
- who do you hang around with or spend time with?
- what do you do and where do you go with friends?
There are lots of things people can do to help themselves such as:
- acknowledge your feelings
- think about what would make a difference and what needs to happen to improve things
- think about your own qualities and what you can offer others
- open up and reach out to family and friends
- start interacting in a small way and slowly build things up at your own pace
- try inviting someone to go for a cuppa or joining a new activity
- don't be afraid to show vulnerability. It may feel uncomfortable, but it helps to create empathy and connection
- take an interest in other people's lives and they will be more likely to do the same with you
- be the organiser - take on organising a small get together - people appreciate this when they have busy lives
- offering kindness to others helps to build connection
- try and distract yourself from the feelings of loneliness - activities such as getting out and about, creative activities, gardening etc.
- plan activities to look forward to during the week
- spend time outdoors either with nature or in your local community. This can elevate mood, boost wellbeing, and help people to feel connected to their neighbourhood and local environment.
- concentrate on the positive memories or experiences.
- self-care - look after your wellbeing by sleeping and eating well and being active. Tips to manage loneliness - Mind .
- Mental health support